Television Heaven

Well.

It has certainly been a while. I blame the summer and starting teh law skoolz for my lack of updating my clearly tens of thousands of readers out there. Please stop sending the fan/hate mail. Mostly because I don't care.

First thing about TV. If you go back and read my predictions for the Emmys I was 100 percent correct on my predictions.

In some categories...

Highlights about the Emmys? Definitely not the host. However if you haven't watched Ty Burrell's speech (Phil from Modern Family) you should. It is so good.

Enough about actors presenting awards to actors.

New shows that you must watch:

1) New Girl
2) 2 Broke Girls
3) Homeland (I have it on very good authority this is a great show, I still need to watch it myself)

New Girl is cute, simple, and has a few attractive men in it. However these men really need to figure out what their characters are doing and how they actually interact with other characters. Zooey (first name basis, I pretty much lived with her doppelganger) steals the show, as she should. She plays a nerdy, awkward, yet completely gorgeous girl perfectly. She is never not making you laugh with her ignorance of how to interact with others, but not in the same way these male actors characters are not supposed to be as socially awkward, or if they are, we haven't exactly been shown how or why they're also socially awkward. Regardless, baseball is ruining this show right now by pushing it off for the next three weeks. Screw you baseball. Screw. You.

2 Broke Girls is the biggest surprise of this season. I went into it thinking I would hate it because its on CBS and I generally hate laugh tracks. THEN I saw that Whitney Cummings has something to do with the show and I REALLY wanted to hate it, but Kat Dennings is bad ass, ridiculously funny, and a show that makes fun of hipsters on the reg is always nice. I'd write more, but I want to save it for a later post comparing Whitney Cummings horrendous show and why it doesn't work as opposed to this one and why it does. It'll be your classic college Freshman essay of the similarities and differences between two sort of related topics. I'll give it like a B+ even before I read it. At least, I'll shoot for a B+ until I realize I'd rather do anything else besides write an essay.


Shows you should watch, but could potentially be cancelled mid-season

1) Up All Night

Honestly. Its good, but it isn't THAT good. It focuses too much on the least funny character, obviously Christina Applegate, and completely ignores the real star power it has in Maya Rudolph and Will Arnett. I think its lucky that the show is on Wednesday nights so it has more of a chance to stay on because I'm pretty sure NBC is only doing Comedy on Wednesday because it has no idea what to do with it otherwise.

Shows you DEFINITELY should not watch

1) Whitney
2) Terra Nova
3) Ringer

I'm not even going to give Whitney the time of day right now. This show is the female equivalent to Outsourced. Offensive, crude, and just wrong.

The only way Terra Nova could achieve being any more like a combination of LOST, Battlestar Galactica, and Jurassic Park, is if it were actually a great show to watch. I watched the first two episodes hoping it would give me something to be oddly obsessed with, and I was greatly disappointed/slightly relieved because I don't need a ton of new shows to watch at this point. With characters that fall extremely flat and a plot line that doesn't exist AND stack on that CGI dinosaurs in every episode, this show is going to flop so quickly.

I don't even know where to start with Ringer except uncontrollable sobbing. SMG, why would you do this to yourself? Now I totally get that the CW is just soap operas for teens, but even for that genre this is really REALLY bad. The plot line - SMG plays twin sisters. One is a recovery addict/stripper the other a rich bitch who kills herself and has a... wait for it... MYSTERIOUS past. Well, after the bitch kills herself the other sister takes her life to get away from her old one. She eventually confides in her twin sister's best friend that she's pretending to be her twin sister and this woman tells her "You have to sleep with my husband or I'll tell everyone your secret." *moment of silence/reflection*   Seriously, SMG, you went from a show that was all about female empowerment and independence to one where in order to keep your fake life afloat you have to essentially prostitute yourself out. Why did you do this show again?

Anyway, I could go on, but I'll save you from a 100 page rant about this show.

Essentially - Watch the shows I told you to. Watch Up All Night if you have time and just want something new. Never watch the other three shows unless you want death by terrible television.

<3 Fennopian

The Obligatory TV Blog Emmy Picks

Alright, first we must address the MOST overlooked show, especially after A) it had a much better second season than first and B) the star hosted the Emmy nominations last year (not that MEANS they should have been nominated, but come on, its not like they pick people to do that who aren't worthy like Melissa McCarthy who was nominated this year and announced). COMMUNITY deserves to be in there with best comedies over, as much as I hate to admit it, 30 Rock AND the Office, both shows which I love but have clearly been dwindling in their humor after finding a safe zone. After a solid year and one of the best comedy season finale's EVER, this show was completely snubbed. I'm looking forward to Abed making underhand comments about it next season.

On to the entertainment industry praising itself - Tracy Jordan said it best: "Actors deserve gifts, without us who would present awards to actors?"

Alright, to be honest, I haven't seen all of these shows, but I'm going to make judgments anyway, deal with it.

Map: One * means I think it'll win. Two * means I want it to win. Three * means I want it to win and it probably will. If you get confused, I feel bad for you.


Best Drama


Boardwalk Empire*
Dexter
Friday Night Lights
Mad Men
The Good Wife
Game of Thrones**


So, I haven't seen Boardwalk Empire, FNL, Mad Men, or The Good Wife, so my prediction is purely going on prestige, hype, and what I want to watch the most, so I chose Boardwalk Empire. Dexter was sub par this season and Julia Stiles f*cking ruined it. Mad Men I know has been great, but I also saw a lot of talk about it maybe not having another season, or at least not very many more. The Good Wife is probably the underdog here and I wouldn't be completely surprised if it won. I would LOVE to see Game of Thrones win, but I think that's only because I'm currently obsessed with the show and the books.


Best Comedy


The Big Bang Theory
30 Rock
Glee
The Office
Modern Family
Parks and Recreation***


The only show I haven't seen here is The Big Bang Theory, and I can say I probably never will. I'm not a fan of the laugh track comedies. 30 Rock and The Office are a little too geriatric for a win, Modern Family is amazing but experienced a sophomore slump while Parks and Rec, I think, is the clear winner. The story picked up, Rob Lowe and Adam Scott added a new dynamic, and who have we heard of more this year than Ron F*CKING Swanson? If this show doesn't win, whoever decides these things should be dragged through the streets, especially after Community wasn't given a nomination, and between the two of them, I'd still pick Parks and Rec.


Best Actor Drama


Steve Buschemi - Boardwalk Empire*
Hugh Laurie - House
Michael C. Hall - Dexter
Jon Hamm - Mad Men**
Kyle Chandler - FNL
Timothy Olyphant - Justified


Alright, I've never even heard of Justified, or maybe I have but just wasn't interested. Michael C. Hall, while giving a solid performance, won last year and had a weak season in terms of story and writing. Jon Hamm is just hot, and Steve will most likely win, I mean, come on, its Steve Buschemi.


I'm not even going to bother with best actress Drama. I haven't watched any of the shows, nor do I really care about any of the actresses. Except I'll say that I bet Julianna Margoulis will win purely based on how much a friend raves about the show.


Best Actor Comedy


Alec Baldwin - 30 Rock
Steve Carrell - The Office*
Louis C.K. - Louie**
Matt LeBlanc - Episodes
Two Different Actors - The Big Bang Theory


I think Steve Carrell has this one. It was his last year, he's consistently hilarious, and I'm sure the people choosing feel they should give it to him now since everyone else will have another chance. I want Louis C.K. to win though. If you've ever seen him even speak, you know he deserves it. Also, if you've seen Episodes, tell me about it. I'm not too excited about watching a show with Matt LeBlanc that isn't Friends, but hey, maybe it's good, but there's no way he's Emmy worthy.


Best Actress Comedy


Tina Fey - 30 Rock
Laura Linney - The Big C***
Edie Falco - Nurse Jackie
Martha Plimpton - Raising Hope
Amy Poehler - Parks and Rec
Melissa McCarthy - Mike and Molly


** I definitely care about this category the most.


I won't be so mad if Laura Linney doesn't win even though she deserves it way more than anyone else, but if Edie Falco wins I might break my television. I'm still incredibly bitter that Nurse Jackie is still on while United States of Tara is off (for which by the way Toni Collette DID win an Emmy). Now this isn't to say that Edie Falco isn't a great actress, because she obviously is, but her character is the most one dimensional character on television with a show that does nothing. Tina Fey is just expected to be nominated but not win because she's Tina Fey. Martha Plimpton is hilarious on the new show Raising Hope, which should replace 30 Rock or The Office on the list of best comedies. Melissa McCarthy has been funnier in movies than the show Mike and Molly. Amy Poehler is insanely funny on Parks and Rec, but I still think Laura Linney deserves the Emmy. The show is ground breaking, the subject matter is intense, and yet she is able to keep it light-hearted and serious all at the same time. Overall just a gorgeous actress and performance.




Again I'm not going to list the nominees for Best Supporting Actor in a Drama. It has to go to Peter Dinklage


Best Supporting Actress in a Drama? Christina Hendricks from Mad Men (and I'm sure any straight man would agree with me supporting those DDs). Why her for a gay man? Because I loved her in Joss Whedon's Firefly. I don't need any other justification.


Every adult male from Modern Family was nominated for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy. I hope it goes to Ty Burrell. Basically what I don't want is for it to go to Chris Colfer. Sure, he's great, but I just don't want Glee to win anything because they've got that whole show tunes gimmick thing going for it.


Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy


Julie Bowen - Modern Family
Sofia Vergara - Modern Family*
Betty White - Hot in Cleveland
Jane Krakowski - 30 Rock
Kristen Wiig - SNL**
Jane Lynch - Glee


I'm a die hard Kristen Wiig fan so naturally I want her to win, even if I am basing it mostly off of her performance in Bridesmaids (and yes, I realize I thought Melissa shouldn't get it based on that movie, you caught me, congratulations). I hate to admit it, but I have watched Hot In Cleveland and it isn't the worst show, but I'm guessing this nomination for Betty White is one of those, "hey, she's going to be dead soon, let's give her one last hoorah," kinda nominations. Now between Julie Bowen and Sofia Vergara, the real contenders I'd say Sofia will win, but out of Brown Alumni solidarity I'd like to see Julie win. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. *Afterthought* Jane Lynch has already won for that role and is hosting this year, and she's a part of Glee, I hope she doesn't get it, even though it is highly likely.




Well, there are my picks. I won't be watching the show, mostly because I hate awards shows, but I am looking forward to reading the results the next day, or find out as my mom watches and calls for me to come watch with her as the winners are called each time interrupting me from my not so precious video game time. And, yeah, that's right, I live at home now until moving again. Its called cooked meals and a free bed. You know you're jealous.

MisBrits

Alright, I'm not one for British television. I don't know what it is, if it's the accents, the dull colors, or perhaps the Brits are just inferior at making television. I never really liked the British version of The Office (yes, I watched it before watching the American version <3 Jim and Pam), I definitely didn't care about Skins, but I've found the exception to my rule, the rule being British TV is Bollocks (thank you Spike). Misfits, a drama about 5 teenagers sentenced to community service who happen to get super powers from an electrical storm. Sounds REAL lame. Luckily, I have so much free time at work and had watched everything else out there that I took a chance on it, mostly because I'm a comic book fan and thought maybe this would somehow slip into a similar television type genre.

Mistake.

Not a mistake to watch the show. My assumptions were all mistakes. It doesn't fit into a typical superhero power driven show ala Heroes, No Ordinary Family, *insert any sci fi show you want. These kids get powers, but the story line doesn't follow the typical A) OMG how do we control these powers my life is so hard because I'm instantly better than most humans or B) Hey! Let's go save the world now because we're like super powerful and super awesome. There are no moral dilemma's about how when or why they should use their powers, they don't sit around trying to figure out how to control them, and the creator didn't give them any novel or marvelous (see what I did there with Marvel) super powers (Mind reader, time traveler, invisibility, etc.).

The story focuses on their actions separate from their powers. The characters are all very good ranging from hilarious to unsettling creepiness. Basically, they kill their probation worker who was made crazy from the storm out of self-defense, and being criminals already they have to bury him. However, his fiance steps in as the new probation officer with the intent to figure out what they did to him even though she has no real evidence. On top of an entertaining story, the music throughout the series is phenom.

This gives the show more of a chance to develop the characters rather than focusing upon how their super powers affect their lives. Even better the powers aren't just completely random to their character traits. The guy who was ignored his whole life can turn invisible. The future Olympic track star is able to rewind time, though not of his own free will. The insecure girl who sleeps with everyone gets more of a curse than a power similar to Rogue's power from the X-men in the sense that she can't touch any one's skin or they instantly blackout and try banging her as long as they stay in contact with her skin, and of course she's pretty damn hot too.

Throughout the series they discover other people with abilities, but again, these don't dominate the story line. In one episode Kelly goes bald and can't figure out why, then realizes that when she sees the boyfriend of a girl she recently punched, he is also bald and figures out that this girl got a power to make people go bald if they make her angry.

Basically, if you're someone who likes a show more character/plot-centric rather than gimmick-centric, you should watch Misfits.

Also, if you've watched every TV show imaginable, but have yet to watch this show, you should watch Misfits.

Man's Best Friend (and Cutest)

Now, maybe I like this show because I'm obsessed with dogs (except ugly hairless tiny ones). Maybe I like this show because of the things I'd like to do with Elijah Wood. Maybe I even like it because it's actually just a good show. Whatever the reason, I like it.

Currently I'm watching the second episode, and Elijah Wood thinks that since Wilfred "told" him Jenna (the love interest) has a dick, so he's currently hinting at it in conversation with her.

Back to dogs quickly though. Why do I like LOVE dogs (especially more than cats). Dogs are loyal, loving, honest, and just super fun. Dogs don't trick you into doing something. They're always there when you need them. Whenever you're sad they're there for you to pet your sorrows away (granted, that might be a little selfish, but let's be real, both parties benefit). In psychological terms, dogs are all id. Wilfred is Ryan's (Elijah Wood) id.

Wilfred gets Ryan to indulge in all different kinds of pleasures from smoking the marijuana to pursuing girls, and even flicking off strangers who piss him off (granted, Wilfred does the flicking off, but obviously ( I hope obviously) a dog can't actually do that).

Blah blah analytical critique blah blah

The show is funny. I mean, the premise itself is ridiculous. Ryan sees a dog as a person/dog, a dog in human form, or I guess a human in a dog costume that everyone else perceives as a dog. Clearly this isn't going to be anything too deep, at least on the surface. Right now the show is able to get away with simple humor, like the man/dog peeing in public, or shoving his face between a willing woman's breasticles. I'm guessing as the show progresses more humor will have to come from the actual human interactions and dialogue, but for now I'm thoroughly enjoying watching the dog/man do his thing.

Overall, watch the show, enjoy the show, and we'll see where it goes.

Vampires, Drugs, and Cancer

This week 3 big shows had their season premieres: True Blood, Weeds, and The Big C.


The Big C EASILY wins best premiere. 

True Blood is lucky two episodes were premiered on Sunday, because that first episode was the most boring, predictable episode I have ever seen, with the exception of the first 10 minutes, which they had already released before the premiere anyway taking away from the novelty. Also, the time jumping gimmick is such a cheesy way to continue a story. Seriously though, if you remember anything from last year's finale nothing was that much of a surprise. Lafayette's a witch with his boy toy, Bill's still alive meaning the Queen is obviously dead and thus he is now the King of Louisiana. As soon as I saw Tara was a fighter I called the whole lezzie thing (maybe my gaydar just works through the TV, or maybe it was the fact that she was pretty much emotionally destroyed by a man in the last season, even if he was a vampire). And the ending. Wow. Usually True Blood gets you with the last 2 seconds of the show with their set up of "OMGWTF JUST HAPPENED IN THAT FIRST 5 MINUTES THAT WAS AWESOME!" followed by "That was the most boring 40 minutes of television I've ever watched," and culminating with "OMGWTF CLIFFHANGER." Who honestly thought Eric was going to bite Sookie and real harm would come to her? No one, that's who.


Luckily the second episode set up the season more with the witches, and the power plays. I'm at least looking forward to being slightly more entertained this season than last. Unfortunately Alex Skarsgaard said the sex scenes this year are tamer than usual, so we probably won't get the pleasure of seeing Eric bone some guy again.

Now, this will probably be Weeds' final season (I HOPE this is the final season), so while the first episode wasn't the most exciting episode ever, most of Weeds is like that where it starts small and just snowballs from there. Weeds jumped 3 years into the future, however I think this works better than True Blood's supernatural world time flow difference bs, because did we really want to see a show where Nancy was separated from the boys the entire time while she sits in jail? Regardless, Silas is still smokin, and now the world realizes it too, Nancy is still great to watch, aaaaaaaaaand we'll see what happens with the other characters. Personally though I'm waiting for a few more episodes down the line for shit to hit the fan. (Also, Michelle Trachtenberg is guest starring in a couple episodes, which, well, that just sucks.)

THIS show, THIS show is unbelievably amazing. Everyone knows someone who has been affected by cancer giving it a universal appeal, but what makes this show last is Laura Linney. Somehow she manages to strike the perfect balance of cynicism, fear, joy, and hope for her character dealing with stage four melanoma. I've also never cried so hard than the finale of season one (except of course the series finale of Six Feet Under... and BtVS). This season picks up with her deciding to fight the cancer rather than let it take her willingly. There is such a nice dichotomy between last season where no one knew she had cancer besides she and her doctor, and this season where we get to see how it affects those around the one with cancer. Honestly, I could go into the plot, but just know this: This is easily one of the top two most beautiful and raw stories/shows I've ever seen. You MUST watch this, even if it seems a little off at first. You won't regret it.

Game of Thrones

Game of Thrones is simply epic, and I've only watched the first episode. Without being excessively dramatic the show gives a fresh take on the sci-fi/fantasy by placing us into the age of dynasties, swords, and warriors on horses rather than flying spaceships and laser guns making killing more intimate and deaths more gruesome. So right off the bat (sports)  the show brings something different from your Battlestar Galactica and Stargate universes. Another refreshing attribute is the dialogue. It isn't overly Olde English, and yet the characters speak with the accent we would expect from something set in medieval times. On top of that, while there are plenty of characters to get to know right away, the show doesn't play dumb to the audience by showcasing every character individually by spewing a bunch of information at us, but instead gradually and intrinsically building each character through interaction with others. Basically it doesn't just say, "This is the king, he has done this and this and is married to this woman and she has these family ties" - through some long overdrawn monologue at the beginning. The audience is expected to be able to pick up on what's happening without overloading us with information that would most likely soon be forgotten after the first couple scenes. These choices could have easily been different to cater to a broader audience.

I was worried that the show would just be a boring tale about kings fighting with other kings over wenches and petty gold coins, which I'm sure is great for some people. However I'm a fan of characters and character development, and this show, keep in mind I've only watched the first episode now so that I can watch all ten pretty much back to back, appears to have everything from strong females (I'm a sucker for strong females in television hence my obsession with Joss Whedon) refusing to marry in vain to a bastard child who seems more worthy to take the throne than any of the king's real children. There are many overlapping story arcs already created within the first hour with set ups to the overlapping story of two kingdoms about to be at war, to the individual stories within those opposing kingdoms. There's ideological differences between the selfless king of Winterfell taking responsibility for his judgments as he tells his child that he must be the one who sentences someone should carry out that sentence in order to stay connected to his people while the creepy, selfish, white-haired man tells his sister that he doesn't care how many men screw her just as long as he gets his kingdom back.

On top of the more humanizing aspects of the show, there is a taste of the supernatural right at the beginning to show the audience this isn't going to be a dull political showing of power struggles, but that there may be a force out there that is greater and more dangerous than just scorned men and women, leaving something to be wanted.

Ultimately, I cannot wait to get through the season, even though I already know the finale is going to be unbearable knowing that I won't get to see next season until next year.

Showtime Will Not Win!

This week it was announced that Showtime, which provides us with TV gems like the thrilling Dexter and the evolving emotional narrative The Big C, has made one of the biggest mistakes by cancelling the show United States of Tara (While keeping Nurse Jackie on for another season).

Now, we all know television networks pick up shows and cancel them based on ratings, because the higher the ratings, the more money they're getting for the show. Therefore no appeal could be made to showtime in regards to ratings. So, why would a network bring back a show if it thinks it can find a new show that will bring in an even larger audience? The short answer is that it just wouldn't. However, there are always exceptions to the rule, and ultimately there are three paths this show could take.

Path #1 : The network could realize how much they have upset their fan base and renew it for a 4th season.

I'm sure this idea seems absolutely ridiculous because it never happens. However there is one major exception to that rule: Family Guy. After being off the air for 2(?) years and after they saw DVD sales spike after it was cancelled, Fox decided to give Seth MacFarlane another chance, and now it seems as though the show will never leave and Seth will keep taking over Sundays on Fox.

Path #2 : Another network could pick up where Showtime failed.

Again it may be hard to think of many shows that have done this, but two major ones come into mind for me instantly: Futurama and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Of course Fox ended up cancelling Futurama as they tend to cancel every great show they get (Arrested Development anyone?). Luckily Comedy Central has its act together and picked up the show and its had a solid couple seasons on the new network.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer had a bit of a different path though. Originally airing on the WB when the WB was just an infant the show had a solid 5 seasons and Joss Whedon ended the 5th season in such a way that it could be the end of the series after not knowing if it would be picked up for a 6th season by any station. Luckily for Whedonites everywhere UPN picked it up and it lasted another 2 seasons.

Path #3 : Big Screen Production

There are two big examples of when this has happened. Fox cancelled Joss Whedon's show Firefly after only 14 episodes leaving fans hanging. Luckily, someone saw that there was a large enough fan base that Joss was able to make a movie Serenity to give fans the closure they needed.
Arrested Development, thankfully, is the other example of this path. Although I haven't seen the movie they're making, which is finally in production after years upon years of rumors and false hope, I'm sure it'll be a great addition to the 2.5 seasons that already exist.

Ultimately, if this show is to come back in any form, it is going to take all the fans out there to let Showtime know they're pissed off by writing letters, e-mails, tweeting, facebooking, and cancelling subscriptions on the basis that if they brought USoT back on the airs we would resubscribe.

We could appeal to Showtime by expressing just how interesting, novel, and raw this show is, but unfortunately, I have a feeling "the man" won't consider these appeals legitimate enough to bring a show back. You would think that an Emmy for Toni Collette would garner the show some kind of safety net or grace period, but apparently not.

Businesses speak money, let's not give them any.